


The quest for the holy gaming console of imminent makeouts

by TenebriousCacophony (HatterLifeStyle)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-13
Updated: 2014-11-10
Packaged: 2018-02-17 07:14:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2301080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HatterLifeStyle/pseuds/TenebriousCacophony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alternian Title: In which the constantly intoxicated human girl wishes to play a stirring round of quackbeast hunt with the rifle-happy human girl. To accomplish this she embarks on a noble quest to steal a troll gaming console which is in the possession of a rad teal-blooded female troll who is constantly flipping between the pale, red and black quadrants with the afore mentioned heroine's ecto-biologically related ancestor/descendant's matesprit's dancestor. Thus hilarity and a number of shenanigans ensue, some of a slightly concupiscent nature, until the objective is fulfilled, thus luring the rifle-happy barkbeast girl into the red concupiscent quadrant. This work of fiction is not appropriate for wigglers aged 6 or younger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Roxy: Suffer in infernal heat

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mariasaurio](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mariasaurio/gifts).



Your name is Roxy Lalonde, and due to the heat wave that has been sieging your town for the past week you are now seriously contemplating moving to Canada if it means escaping this infernal heat. Hell, even the fridge is starting to look like a good place to camp out. Unfortunately, your friend/mother/daughter/roommate was abundantly clear when she stated that you would burn the motor out if you tried that and with your house's broken AC unit you're not ready to take any more risks. That doesn't stop you from groaning and running a hand through your sweat-soaked blond locks. They remain sticking out at the oddest of angles but you are honestly well past caring. Normally you have no problem with a nice summer day, but the temperature for the past week has never gone below the high thirties and with no money to pay for the AC's repair you have found yourself hoarding as many fans as you can get your hands on and setting them around your computer desk to try to keep the heat at bay. Unfortunately, there are actually only two fans in your house, but the good news is that Rose has allowed you to monopolize them, although you suspected that it is mostly due to the fact that you've placed them so that the air actually reached her as well while she lies on the couch.

You spare a quick glance behind you to see that indeed, Rose is still sprawled out where you'd last seen her, absently staring at the sealing with one of her arms draped over the couch and her hand splayed against the cool floor of your house. Upon closer inspection you realize that there are four half-lidded eyes staring at her fingers from under the couch. You watch as Vodka Mutini gives them a halfhearted bat with his paw before giving up on the venture and mimicking Rose's pose while flattening himself against the floor.

The sound of footsteps at the doorway catches your attention and you turn the other way to see Kanaya walking into the room while balancing an assortment of glasses and pitchers on a tray. She's humming one of the latest pop songs to grace the radio under her breath and seems completely unfazed by the heat. Her hair is just as carefully styled and her lipstick as meticulously applied as ever. She even has the gall to have her usual half smile painted on her face, as if the house hadn't been turned into an infernal hell-hole of sweltering summer heat. A small part of you resents her greatly for her surreal resistance to the heat but then you remember that she has no real need to be here right now. She shares an apartment with Porrim a few blocks away and since they aren't sharing in your air conditioning troubles it is most likely pleasantly cool over there right about now. She is only sticking around to make sure that Rose and you don't wither away while being left unattended in this heat. Yes, on second thought, you should probably be singing her praises to the heavens for the devoted care and doting that she has been laying on both of you, but words were never really your forte (you can't even say most of them right half the time) and you're fairly sure that Rose will write her a ten page essay about her many merits as a snarky thank you. Just another one of the complex rituals those two snarky broads are so fond of...

She walks up to you slowly and gracefully and lifts a glass off the tray that she is carrying. It is full to the brim with ice and lemonade, and while not exactly what you had been hoping for (god, you could use a drink, a real drink, so bad!) you still accept it gratefully.

"I had thought of making you a drink more amenable to your preferences, but seeing as how you are currently occupied with your work I thought it best to leave that for later." You sigh, knowing that she is right, and you are somewhat grateful that she is helping you keep control of your sobriety but this heat would just be so much easier to bear if you were slightly numbed by the alcohol...

Kanaya smiles and her fangs peek out from behind painted lips.

"Rest assured though, I will take great care in concocting a suitable reward for you once you have finished you work."

You can't help but perk up at that, ever since that day you had drunkenly decided to teach Kanaya to make a martini you have had nothing but fantastic results from her and you are ecstatic about that, even if she does occasionally make use of her talents to bribe you into things.

Feeling much more motivated now than you have for the past couple of hours you still allow yourself another moment of rest as you watch Kanaya glide towards the other two occupants in the room, where she leaves a bowl of fresh water under the couch for Mutie, sits down and hands a glass of lemonade to Rose, but only after coaxing her into a sitting position (Rose, I don't care, you'll choke!). Rose gulps the drink down and then wastes no time in sprawling out on top of Kanaya, ignoring the girl’s protests while claiming that her cool skin is just what she needs to fight the heat. To be fair, Kanaya doesn't really seem to mind half as much as she lets on and quickly settles for stroking Rose's hair.

You turn back to your screen and continue to write the lines of code you had previously been occupying yourself with. You take tiny sips from your glass every now and then and it isn't long before all that is left is the half-melted ice cubes at the bottom of the glass. You feel much cooler than you did before Kanaya brought the drinks and your mind is much sharper. The room has become surprisingly tranquil as the sound of your fingers on the keyboard mixes with the whirring of the fans and Kanaya's humming.

The mood in the room has shifted to something peaceful and downright pleasant despite the heat. Your concentration is at its peak as you try to flush out any mistakes you might have made during your heat-induced stupor earlier and therefore you fail to notice the knocking at the door at first. Rose and Kanaya fail to react as well and the knocking becomes more and more insistent until finally Kanaya gets up to answer the door. Rose huffs and flops back on the couch mumbling something quietly under her breath. You can hear a slight commotion in the hall but think nothing of it. Whatever it is, Kanaya is more than capable of handling it and this code isn't going to correct itself.

Your progress is once again thwarted as you are engulfed in a bear hug the likes of which are probably illegal in more states than you can name. Startled by the sudden physical contact you knock your empty glass off the table but somehow manage to pull off a sweet catch before it shatters on the floor. By the time you get over your initial shock the arms that are wrapped around you disentangle themselves from you and launch themselves at Rose, who also seems frozen in place. As the blur you now recognize as Jade wraps her arms around her she does manage to get a few words in.

"Jade, while I normally welcome your affectionate physical greetings I can't help but think that we should be skipping them with this heat."

"Awww! You're no fun, Rose!" Jade whines. She's still smiling though, and she keeps her arms wrapped around Rose who despite her protests hasn't actually pushed her away and is actually somewhat returning the hug.

Once she feels that she has properly greeted everyone in the room Jade gets down to business, telling you all about the awesome garage sales that are going on a few blocks from your place. You see Rose quirk an eyebrow incredulously and you can’t help but agree with her. Who in their right minds holds a garage sale when it's nearing a hundred and four degrees?

"Come on! There's a ton of cool stuff for sale!" she says tugging you all towards the door.

"I apologize, Jade. But there is simply no way I'm going outside today." Rose says digging her heels into the floor and stopping Jade's progress.

"Rose!" she whines.

"I simply can't join you, Jade. I still have a lot of writing to do today."

"You were lying on the couch when I got here!" Jade argued.

"That's because Dave broke my laptop the last time he came over and Dirk is still fixing it. I was waiting for Roxy to finish her work before I stole her computer for a few hours." Rose explains in her most placating tone of voice. You've seen her use it on tons of people with varying success but with Jade it always seems to work like a charm.

You watch as Jade deflates slightly and suddenly you want to reach out and place a comforting hand on her shoulder, or say something that will set her back in motion. You hesitate, though. Rose has been sending you knowing looks when you've been in Jade's presence for longer than even you have acknowledged that you might in fact be harboring a crush on the girl. It's only recently that you've acknowledged those feelings enough to want to discuss them with someone, much to you chagrin seeing as your best friend has gone on a six month trip to Paris to study the finer aspects of baking and you've grown so used to speaking to her face to face instead of on a computer screen that you just don't know how to broach the subject. This has left you with only Rose and Kanaya as your possible confidants since you'd rather choke on your martini than have to talk about these feelings with either Strider. Of course, that in no way means you are all that keen on the idea of discussing them with Rose or Kanaya either, and any discussion that has taken place so far has mostly been in the form of drunken ramblings on your part that have left you with nothing but headaches, nausea and regret as Rose lords them over you in that smug way of hers.

As if sensing your thoughts Rose's expression shifts almost imperceptibly and both you and Kanaya throw each other an anxious look. Her face has adopted the expression that means that she is either plotting something or that her powers as the Seer of Light have revealed a path that she finds amusing. Jade seems oblivious to it but that's mostly because she is too busy giving Rose her best puppy dog eyes. It's a hopeless attempt. You'd know, you've tried yours on her more than enough times.

"You know, Jade." Rose says as a smirk slowly makes its way to her lips. "I'm sure Roxy would be more than happy to accompany you." Rose begins pushing you towards the door as Jade latches onto your arm. Your brain freezes temporarily so that for a moment you simply allow yourself to be steered towards the door without a struggle. Then something, you're not sure what exactly, shakes you out of your stunned pliability and you begin to put up some token resistance.

"But I was just working!" you protest weakly knowing that nothing is saving you from this one now that Jade is still dragging you towards the door and Rose is bringing you your sandals and wallet.

"You were working so hard, you deserve the break." Rose brushes your protests away as you get pushed outside the house. You throw one last pleading look at Kanaya who shrugs helplessly at you and then the door is slammed in your face and you're being dragged outside by Jade.


	2. Roxy: be dragged down the streets

If you're completely honest with yourself you have to admit that Rose might have been on to something. You're walking down the street in the shade cast by the buildings and a pleasant breeze occasionally makes itself known, helping you cool down a bit. Then there is of course the matter of your bubbly and extremely pleasant company. Jade still has a firm grip on your hand and is dragging you down the street, but she is no longer meeting much resistance on your part. It is actually only enough to ensure that she keeps her hold on you. Underhanded, perhaps, but you didn't get a chance to imbibe yourself with Kanaya's martini and you can feel the distinct lack of liquid courage running through your veins. But even after you start matching her pace she doesn't let go of your hand and you feel pleased by this miniscule detail.

In fact, it isn't until you've finally reached the garage sales and her attention has diverted to a pile of toys and plushies for sale, hoping to find some squiddles to add to her collection, that she lets go of your hand. But you're fine with that since there are things that catch your attention as well. You both wander around curiously rummaging through boxes and starring at displays thrown half-hazardly over tables. Occasionally one of you will call out to the other when something particularly interesting catches your attention.

Jade was right of course, you realize that you have completely forgotten about the heat as you hunt around for treasures. And so far you have found many things at a very cheap price that have been stuffed into the large bag that she had brought along for the occasion.

You've been roaming around the different houses for the better part of an hour when you hit the motherload.

Your neighborhood is known for the equal mix of both trolls and humans and from the look of the house, you're fairly certain that you're dealing with a troll. When you take a closer look at what they have to offer you see that you're right. You see a bunch of mechanical parts that you know for sure used to be part of a recuperacoon and among the many toys scattered around, you see a bunch of chew toys that seem too big for any normal, earth dog which leads you to believe that a lusus of canine features is probably inhabiting the ample yard at the back of the house. When you take a look in the far corner you see it: a pile of games for a bunch of different consoles. You call Jade over gleefully and she rushes over to see what has gotten you so damn excited. When she sees you shifting through all of the different titles excitedly she laughs and you grin back at her. You make a small pile with the games you don't own while Jade goes off in search of the owner.

When he shows up with Jade in tow you see that your assumption was right. In front of you is a very tall, very thin troll with pointed face that wouldn't have looked out of place on a Doberman. The effect was heightened by his horns, which seemed like a strange mix between Terezi's and Nepeta's. They gave the impression of ears that had perked up because of some sound that had caught his attention. The curious expression he wore, which for some reason looked like it rarely left his face for long, helped complete the illusion.

"Your friend says you wanted to buy something?" his voice holds nothing but polite interest as he sees you fawning over the games.

You begin to nod but then realize: there's no way you've brought enough money to pay for all of these games.

"Well," you sigh. "If I could, I'd take all of these," you wave in the direction of the games you've piled up. "But I can't really pay for all of them right now. Maybe one or two." you shrug.

He cocks his head to the side, kneels down beside you and starts to sort through the titles. He takes his time, turning the different games this way and that in his hands. Finally he heaves a sigh and brings himself up to his full height, patting the knees of his jeans clean.

"Interesting choices." he says. "Lots of variety." He's smiling at you now. You smile back because shallow as it may be you like this guy already, with nothing to go on but his taste in videogames. He seems in deep thought for a moment or two, sizing you up. You apparently don't come up lacking because he speaks up again.

"Tell you what, I'll hold on to them for you and you can come pick them up some other time." he says. "After all, I'd rather they go to someone that appreciates them, and I think you fit the bill."

You're grinning so wide it almost hurts now as you're tripping over your thanks. He laughs and waves them away. He grabs a cardboard box from behind some furniture and after asking for your name he pulls a marker from his pocket and writes it down on the side in neat writing. You then begin scooping the games inside and quickly strike up a conversation. He is eventually called away as another customer wants to pay for something and he goes telling both you and Jade to stick anything else that might catch your eye in the box.

You both finish investigating ever surface left unexplored and add a few more objects to the box. When you're both about ready leave Jade sees something that catches her eye. Another cartridge that had been left off to the side. It doesn't look familiar to you at first, as you peer at it over her shoulder, you would probably guess that it was for the NES. But upon closer inspection you realize that the game is actually far more familiar than you expected, and at the same time much more alien.

"Quackbeast hunt?"

Jade doesn't answer you; her eyes are far away as if reliving a moment in the past.

"Jade? Jadey?" you ask. She doesn't answer you. You call out a couple more times with no result and place your hand on her shoulder.

That seems to snap her out of it. She looks at you through her glasses and blinks a couple of times. You take the cartridge from her hands and watch her with concern.

"You okay, Jade?" You ask. She shakes her head a bit to completely dispel her thoughts and nods.

"Yeah! Of course!" she seems her usual cheerful self, yet you are somehow unconvinced.

"You sure? You were pretty out of it just then." She nods vigorously.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that," and here she hesitates for a moment and that has you arching a brow because it is so rare for Jade to hesitate when she speaks that you can't help but worry. "When I was a kid, my grandpa bought that game for me. Well, not that one, it was ours, duck hunt. But I remember he brought back the arcade game and we spent hours together playing it..." She pauses again and you realize you still have your hand on her shoulder, so you give a light squeeze and she picks up where she left off. "I guess I just hadn't thought about that in a while and seeing this just made me remember how much I miss it."

She sighs and places the cartridge back where she found it. You, however, have other plans as you pick it up again.

"I know it's not the same, but why don't we play it again together?" you ask smiling at her. You see the beginning of a smile form on her face. "Or you could ask Jake to play with you." This time she really does smile

"No," she laughs. "I think I'd still rather play it with you." she says. You just clear your throat and smile wider before going in search of your new-found friend.

"Orion! Hey, Orion!" You call. You see him stick his head up over one of the shelves in the garage.

"What's up?" he asks. You show him the game and he looks surprised for a moment. His head disappears behind the shelf and in a matter of seconds he has materialized beside you, muttering under his breath.

"I thought I'd put all of these away." sensing that the comment wasn't directed at you, you ignore it.

"D'you think this game would work on a NES?" you ask him. He's about to speak up when you decide to clarify. "A human NES."

"Well, most troll and human consoles are virtually identical and their games can be interswapped." he begins and you think you can see where this is going already. "Unfortunately, for some reason, the NES seems to only accept the games that are either troll or human."

"Oh," is all you can think to answer. You feel Jade deflate beside you.

"Well, it was worth a shot!" she says beside you, cheery once again. You, on the other hand, can't help but feel that this is a challenge set out for you. And anyone who's known you long enough knows that you just don't know how to back down from a challenge.

You both decide that it's time to head back home, you begin to leave but as you reach the sidewalk you ask Jade to wait for you a moment longer and you go looking for Orion once again.

"Do you by any chance have a troll NES for sale that I didn't see?" you ask him casually. He blinks at you once, obviously surprised by your reappearance.

"Actually, I sold it this morning." he tells you apologetically. "A troll girl about our age. Really nice and very hard to forget. I don't really think she bought it for herself though, I think it was for her friend? Matesprit? Moirail?" he trailed off trying to remember. "Anyway, I'm sorry but I just don't have it anymore."

You sigh; it was a pretty slim chance. "D'you have any idea where I can find one?" you ask.

"Honestly, they're not all that common and most people are gonna ask for a hefty price. I'm not sure you'll have all that much luck finding one."

You pick up the cartridge again and contemplate it for only a second before fishing around in your pocket for the money to pay for it.

"Here, I'd like to keep my hands on this. I'll see you on Friday to pick up the rest of the stuff?" you ask. He smiles and nods.

"Good luck." he says with a smile that tells you that he probably understands that this is about more than just the game.


	3. Roxy: Sulk

It has been a day since you found the game. Thankfully, the weather took a turn for the better as a long thunderstorm during the night cooled the temperature down to a pleasant warmth that still allows you to be functional. As such, you have managed to finish writing your code and Rose has been able to write a fair amount of her novel and is now busy making dinner. She has invited both Kanaya and Porrim over to thank them for their help these past few days. You have to admit that they deserve it, they'd spent the better part of their days coming over to check on you both and had taken care of the majority of your household chores during that time, so it seemed fair to treat them to a meal which they didn't have to make themselves.

You've spent the majority of your time staring at the bulky cartridge and wracking your brain for a way to get your hands on that console. There is realistically no way you could attain one. Orion was right, pricey didn't even begin to cover the cost of one, and there was literally no way you could borrow it from someone you knew since not even Latula had a troll NES at her disposal. You were glad to know she would probably be coming over too, since she would undoubtedly accompany Porrim, because you are fairly sure that if anyone could help you track a troll NES down, it was her.

"Forgive me for interrupting your brooding, Roxy." While you were deep in thought you failed to notice Kanaya slip onto the couch beside you. You're not sure exactly how long she's spent staring at you, but she seems concerned. At least if the way she was worrying her lower lip with her fangs was anything to go by. "I was just wondering why you do not simply buy a human game of quackbeast hunt and play it on your human gaming console." She asks calmly.

You're not quite sure how to answer that.

"Don't bother questioning it, Kanaya." Rose peeks her head in from the kitchen. "I'm pretty sure she's going to insist they play that game in particular. Some event or other has obviously given that otherwise unremarkable game some sort of symbolic importance." she says as way of an explanation.

You hate the fact that she's right. You feel that it has to be this game that you two play. After all, this is the game you were both looking at when Jade told you about that special part of her childhood.

"Of course, how unfathomably silly of me." Kanaya says, stretching out on the couch and smirking at Rose. "You are both so fond of your snark and human sarcasm that I often forget that you are both complete and utterly hopeless romantics at hearts."

You feel the flush rising along your cheeks at her comment, and while Rose only scowls slightly at Kanaya and disappears back into the kitchen you know that it affected her as well. Kanaya laughs, a low chuckle that originates somewhere deep in her chest and turns her attention back to you. You're about to lash out with a mean verbal smackdown of some sort, because no one accuses Roxy Lalonde of being a hopeless romantic and comes out of it unscathed, but Kanaya gives you a softer smile and a nod and at first you're stunned because it was conspiratorial, and that was just so unlike Kanaya that you don't know what to do. Then you realize that the barb was meant to get Rose off your back, with stunning results, and you think that maybe you're not giving Kanaya enough credit where credit is due. Before you can say anything to her she turns her attention away from you and towards the freshly xeroxed essay Rose handed to her upon her arrival and begins reading it, arching an eyebrow here and there.

You hear knocking at the door and get up to let your other guests into the house.

Just as you'd hoped, standing in front of you are both Porrim and Latula. Upon seeing you the latter gives you an enthusiastic high-five before bursting her way into the house. As is usually the case, she has left you slightly stunned in her wake. Quick, graceful and stunning in her own right, Porrim leans down to greet you with a kiss to each cheek and you're pulled out of your first stupor only to immediately be thrown into the second. Porrim though, is used to the impact she has on people and laughs as you remain gaping, the way you usually do, and nudges you inside the house before stepping in herself.

Feeling overwhelmed by the people surrounding you, you sit down on the couch once again and decide to wait a while before approaching the subject you're dying to discuss with Latula. You know that any console or game that is not in her vast collection is usually a sore spot, and so you hope to broach the subject at the most opportune moment possible. Scanning around the room you can see that the dinner preparations are almost complete. While Porrim scans over the text in Kanaya's lap, laughing every so often while pointing out a section, Latula has taken it upon herself to help Rose set the table. You get up and decide to give her a hand.

It isn't until you're all well into your dinner that you decide to speak up. Dinner isn't a grand thing. Rose mentioned once that her mother, your alternate self, had never gotten around to teaching her to cook and her skills were therefore somewhat limited, but you don't notice. You've always had a fondness for her food, not that you ever mention it since the one time you did she proceeded to psycho-analyze you stating that you liked her food because you viewed her as a mother figure. Nothing could be further from the truth but you did not want to have to argue about that with her ever again if you could help it. But it really is a good meal, you think. Everyone seems to enjoy it as idle talk is picked up over the table.

You wait until a hush washes over the room and when it does, you take the chance to speak up.

"Hey, Latula?" she looks up at you and quirks her eyebrows to show that she's listening even as she lifts another forkful into her mouth. "Any idea where I can get my hands on a troll NES?" you ask. She perks up at this, explosive excitement evident in her face and her posture. Not exactly what you had expected

"Funny you should mention it," The voice that speaks up isn't Latula's. Porrim, who is sitting beside Latula and directly across from you, is giving her a pointed look which you think might be to keep her from talking with her mouth full. She turns to you and continues. "I bought her one just yesterday." You freeze. That would explain why Latula looks absolutely ecstatic while struggling to swallow her mouthful of food.

After a moment you push on. "Where did you find one?" Maybe wherever she got it had more in stock.

"I bought it at a garage sale a few blocks from here." Porrim says eying you curiously, obviously intrigued by your sudden interest in the troll gaming system.

"She got a bunch of old games, too!" Latula informs you breathlessly, having finally managed to swallow her pasta.

You don't hear her though. Your brain is too busy going over your conversation with Orion yesterday: "A troll girl about our age. Really nice and very hard to forget.". Porrim was definitely hard to forget alright. If it wasn't the piercings, it was the tattoos and if it wasn’t either of those it was the dress.

Well, this just might be your lucky day. You turn to Latula again.

"D'you think I could borrow it some time?" you ask, relieved that your long search has been cut short. There was really no need to actually buy the console if you could just use it to play the game with Jade for a few hours. You've possibly just spared yourself a very long search and a lot of money.

"Nope, sorry." Latula's answer cuts through you like one of Dirk's japanese swords.

"Wha-?"

"I don't lend the consoles out anymore." she shrugs. "The last time I did, Vriska gave it back absolutely destroyed." No eloquent answer comes to you, despite the fact that you're really not that drunk yet. You just stare at her and try to process exactly what she said, but all you can make out of her explanation is that the console is still out of your reach.

"If you don't mind my asking," Kanaya has decided to speak up, probably feeling uncomfortable with the silence that has made itself known around the table. "How on earth did you think that lending anything to Vriska of all people could possibly be a good idea?"

Latula shrugs again. "I dunno, she's a Serket, Aranea is a Serket. Whenever Windfang brings something back it's usually in better condition than when I gave it to her." Everyone gapes at her openly at that. Rose is the first to recover.

"That's like comparing a Black Widow to a Daddy Long-legs."

"Hey! Those Daddy long-legs are hella creepy spiders." Latula mutters under her breath.

"Well, Aranea manages to be creepy when she wants to." Porrim answers.

"You would know, babez." Latula answers lightly.

You watch as Porrim smiles at her, and for some reason you think it looks ever so slightly threatening, as if daring her to go on. It's as close to a sneer as you could ever bring yourself to describe Porrim's face. And then it strikes you. You've never really known exactly what type of relationship it is that Porrim and Latula have. You'd always assumed they were Matesprits and moved on but now you suddenly catch yourself thinking back to all the times you'd seen them acting more pale, the way Kanaya does when Karkat rushes to her for some pampering (not that he'd call it that). Or those moments when their smiles showed just a little too much teeth to be friendly or loving and which you now realize seemed almost black. The way Kanaya has stiffened visibly beside Rose is enough to prove your suspicions correct.

"You know," Rose's voice is once again the one to break the silence. "much as it pains me to interrupt you two right now, thus destroying the path that leads to a fun-filled night full of cuts and bruises, I think it would be best if we all concentrated on helping Roxy find her gaming console so that she can curry favor with a certain young lady."

You are going to murder Rose. Murder her in the most platonic, painful, unsexy way possible.

Kanaya is staring at Rose, obviously shocked at her blunt phrasing and the way she so casually brushed aside Porrim and Latula's silent argument. The other two women in the room blink and tear their gaze away from each other to take a long look, first towards Rose, then you.

Understanding seems to dawn on Porrim's face first. A gentler smile forms on her face as she looks at you.

"This has something to do with, Jade?" she asks as one of her fingers comes up to trace the piercings in her ear absently.

"How do you know about that?" You sputter. She laughs, in that airy confidant way that is so uniquely hers.

"Remember that time we ran into each other at that club?" she asks. She has stopped laughing, much to your relief. You take a good long minute to think.

Jake had been the one to talk you and Dirk into it. Of course, the two jerks had seen fit to abandon you shortly after arriving and so you had gravitated towards the bar where you proceeded to imbibe yourself in a butt-load of drinks. You remember that at some point Porrim seemed to simply appear out of nowhere beside you. She spoke to you as if you'd been having a conversation for some time, which might have actually been the case, now that you think about it. She eventually took the glass from your hand and kept you from ordering another one and that's where your recollection of that night ends completely.

"Sure." you answer, hoping she won’t ask just how much you actually remember.

She smiles and you're pretty sure she can guess, with surprising accuracy, just how much you really do recall. "I helped you home that night. That was seven blocks of your drunken ramblings about Jade." you groan and she laughs again.

It's starting to come back to you now, in little bits and pieces. You remember stumbling drunkenly across the pavement with your arms around Porrim's neck, her arm around your waist and the majority of your weight slumped against her. You remember talking to her, your voice's volume wavering, making you sound almost like Gamzee in his less stable moments. Porrim's voice would reach your ears, steady and eloquent, humoring you. She had obviously been listening to you though, if she remembered enough about it to bring it up.

God, do you want to apologize to her for subjecting her to that particular brand of torture! But before you can say anything, begin to beg for forgiveness, Latula speaks up again.

"So, you wanted to use my troll NES for a sexy gaming night?" Latula wiggles her eyebrows at you in a way that is startlingly similar to Terezi.

Great, you could live with adding Porrim to the list of people who knew about your secret crush, something about her made it just slightly less painfully embarrassing, sort of like Kanaya. Latula, on the other hand, just wasn't someone you would have ever entertained notions of sharing that information with. In a way she was the exact opposite of both Maryams. She made you feel infinitely more edgy about the whole thing. About everything, really.

She shouts something at you ("High-five, girl!"), and it is only force of habit that makes you raise your hand in time. The howl of laughter that follows your high-five is also remarkably reminiscent of Terezi.

"Latula," Porrim speaks up once again. Latula stiffens somewhat. "Why don't you just lend it to her? You know she takes these things just as seriously as you do. She'll be careful with it." Latula says nothing for a moment, she keeps her eyes fixed on you. Finally she shakes her head.

"If she wants to use it so bad," She finally turns to Porrim. "by all means, she is welcome to it as long as she doesn't move it from where I've left it."

"You mean where you've left it in my hive, in my block." a pierced eyebrow rises. Latula shrugs and turns her attention back to her food.

Porrim keeps her eyes trained on her for a moment longer, but Latula pretends not to notice. Her gaze finally leaves her and settles on you once more.

"You're more than welcome to come over, Roxy." Porrim's voice is quieter than usual. You think that there might be the hint of an apology of sorts in there, she knows just as well as you do that you'll never take her up on that offer. You give her an empty nod and everyone turns back to their food.

Despite the slight strain that settles over the table for some time, the conversation does eventually pick up again. It takes a little longer for it to be as pleasant as it was before but that is accomplished as well.

Just as your guests are getting ready to leave, the phone begins to ring. You give each of them a hasty goodbye and hurry away to answer. It's Dirk, calling to tell you that he has finished fixing Rose's computer and that she can pick it up at his place any time she likes. He hangs up on you abruptly after that, saying something about a fire, which makes you think that he probably tried to make himself something to eat after spending a couple of days without sleep again. You sigh, put the phone back on the charger and go back to the dining room to clear the table. You quickly stack the remaining dishes in your arms and carefully balance them into the kitchen.

You nearly run into Kanaya as you push open the door but somehow manage to swerve and avoid dropping your burden. You sigh in relief and carry them over to Rose, who is leaning against the counter beside the sink, holding her empty wine glass lazily in her hand.

"I didn't know you were staying tonight." You comment as you place the dishes carefully in the sink. Kanaya sighs and Rose laughs beside you.

"Apparently the path that led to a night of black romance wasn't as permanently sealed as I had at first been led to believe." Kanaya sighs again, a frustrated huff of air, but otherwise seems to ignore the comment.

"Believe it or not," she begins. "Sleep is actually something I enjoy taking part of every now and then. A privilege I don't feel inclined to sacrifice quite so readily." Rose gives a little mock gasp at this.

"And here I thought you wanted to stay here to bask in my glorious company, Kanaya!" you watch as she throws an arm up and poses dramatically. "You were merely using me to get access to my bed!"

Kanaya laughs and slips the glass out of Rose's grasp and into the sink. "Oh, your bed isn't necessary, the couch looks comfortable enough." Rose's arms wrap themselves around Kanaya's neck, imitating yet another pose from Karkat's romance novels. You're pretty sure she's messing with you now.

"What self-respecting vampire in their right mind would ever pass up such an open invitation to a lady's bed?"

"I see no lady here." Kanaya answers seamlessly, a toothy grin forming.

"Goodnight, you two." you say firmly, shaking your head as you leave them to their little game. If you were a better roommate you'd probably stay to help with the dishes, but you figure that if they've got enough energy to fool around like that, they can take care of it themselves. Besides, you are technically drunk, and your brooding, and your plotting, and your disappointment have left you pretty exhausted.

"Roxy, no!" Rose's cries follow you out the kitchen and down the hall. "Don't leave me alone with her! She's a wily temptress come to pray on my feeble human restraint!" You doubt it, you're pretty sure you hear someone turn on the tv and it sure as hell wasn't Rose.

"You're a God, Rosie. I'm pretty sure you can handle it!" you shout back before closing the door to your room.

The silence that surrounds you now is undisturbed. You sit on your bed, where you had hurriedly dropped off the cartridge after Porrim and Latula arrived and once again begin to twirl it in your hands. You take this time to relive the past two days in surprising detail, bordering on obsessive. Every action, every conversation, every word spoken in the last forty-eight hours. Your self-imposed mission is clear. Your objective had been in sight and almost within your reach before it was jerked away from you at the last moment. Your conversation with both Porrim and Latula made it abundantly clear that Latula would never relinquish her console into your custody. Not even for a few hours.

By the time you go over Rose's little charade it's been some time since you went to your room and you know that Rose and Kanaya have finally retired for the night. The silliness surrounding the whole thing does manage to make you feel marginally better. Maybe that had been her intention all along? Who knows, Rose is always so cryptic with her concern... Results can't be argued with though, and you do feel a little bit of tension leave your body. What was that last thing you'd said to her?

You're a god, Rosie.

For some reason, it sticks with you. You mull over it, turning the sentence over and over in your mind.

You're a god.

You're a god.

You are a god.

It hits you suddenly and with a dizzying impact.

You are the Rogue of Void.

As you let this new thought race into your mind things suddenly become very clear. With the powers of your class your dilemma is practically solved:

You are going to break into Porrim's room, steal the NES, use it to play quackbeast hunt with Jade, and then return it.

No one will suspect a thing.

 

 

A couple of rooms away the Seer of Light wakes, feeling the strange, yet unyielding, impulse to do a x2 facepalm combo. The resulting smack is enough to rouse the Sylph of Space from her slumber.

A few moments later the lights in the room have been turned on and the Sylph leans over the Seer with a concerned expression clouding her face. "Whatever led you to indulge in such foolish behavior?" She questions while inspecting the two very red handprints adorning the Seer's face.

"I-" a slight flinch on her part interrupts her as a gentle touch is pressed to an already bruising cheekbone. "I'm not entirely sure..."


	4. Roxy: Get lectured by your ecto-daughter

You wake up to find that the temperature has drastically increased once again, and although you wake up feeling sluggish there is nothing that can put a damper on your good mood, for you now know how to go about getting your hands on that gaming console. You drag yourself out of your bed and into the shower hoping that some cool water on your skin will be enough to keep the heat at bay and then slip into something light and comfy. Chilly water drops are still dripping onto your bared shoulders as you make your way towards the kitchen. The rich scent of freshly brewed coffee is strong and ever so enticing, and you know that Rose will be sitting on the couch with her favorite cup full of the hot beverage despite the heat. You opt for a glass of cool, refreshing apple juice as you walk towards the living room.

Rose and Kanaya are sitting on the couch already, speaking in hushed voices. They are both still in their sleepwear although Kanaya seems to have put a little more effort into taming her hair and straightening out her clothes. Her jade green lipstick has already been meticulously applied as well. Meanwhile, Rose's hair is sticking out all over the place, her hair band is nowhere to be found and she looks very tired. They're leaning into each other slightly as they speak and Kanaya briefly brings her hand up to run against Rose's cheekbone, with a look so concerned that you can't help but worry slightly. Rose's hand comes up and takes a hold of Kanaya's hand and lowers it gently. She says something that you guess was meant to reassure Kanaya because you can see her wearily retract her hand but you know she's not completely satisfied with whatever it is Rose has told her.

Feeling that you've already been watching them while they were unaware for long enough, you clear your throat slightly and approach them slowly. They both turn to you and it's only now that you see what it is that had been worrying Kanaya so much.

"What the hell happened to you, Rose?" you ask, unable to keep yourself from asking. A dark bruise is contrasting against her pale skin, making it remarkably visible even from where you're standing.

Rose is as unperturbed as always by your blunt question. She shrugs lazily and brushes a stray strand of hair behind her ear before answering.

"Nothing to worry about." She answers calmly, even as she brings her hand up to brush against the bruise with the tips of her fingers. "An unintentional foray into the territory of involuntary muscular responses." she mutters.

"Did you two let that little vampire fantasy you were spewing last night get out of hand?" You tease as you take a sip from your apple juice. You note that Kanaya turns a really interesting shade of green even as she gives you a disapproving scowl. A smug smile finds a fleeting perch on Rose's face, probably due to the fact that she finds Kanaya's discomfort just as amusing as you do. But just as soon as it's there it's gone and replaced by a serious look.

"Roxy." Her voice startles you slightly; the seriousness you saw in her expression has crept its way into her voice. "What are you up to?"

For a moment you say nothing. Something in her demeanor is so startlingly different from the Rose you've always known that you don't know what to do with yourself.

"Nothing." You say as you get up and try to escape to the kitchen. You barely manage to get in a couple of steps before Rose's hand envelops your wrist. Her grip is firm and stops you in your tracks.

"Sit." She orders.

You obey.

Rose says nothing but she is still watching you intently. You know there is absolutely no way out of this for you.

"I know you're up to something, Roxy." she says quietly as she lets your wrist slide from her grasp. "And whatever it is, it's going to land you in trouble if you're not careful." she tells you.

"What makes you think that, Rose?" you demand.

She smiles at that, and you know you've backed yourself into a corner.

"As you so eloquently phrased it last night I am a God, Roxy. The Seer of Light, to be exact. It's in my nature to know these things." She quirks an eyebrow at you, daring you to challenge her on this. You finally relent.

"It's really nothing." You mutter. "I'm just going to borrow Latula's console for a while, that's all."

Rose regards you evenly for a moment and you almost manage to convince yourself that she won't delve any further into it.

"By borrow do you mean you will endeavor to change her mind after she rejected that proposal last night? Or perhaps you meant to say borrow without permission, in which case what you're telling me is that you plan to steal it?" Rose's expression has fazed back into one of cool, mild interest, as she settles down beside you.

"Don't be such a goddamn hardass, Rose." you mutter as you get up.

You stomp back to the kitchen and throw the rest of your apple juice down the drain, then proceed to make your way to your room where you quickly throw on some clothes and grab a backpack to stash your loot in. You take a deep breath, preparing yourself for the inevitable; you'll have to walk past Rose to go out the door and though you'd rather avoid her now, there's really nothing you can do.

You open the door quietly and peek out. No sign of her so far. You step out and close the door quietly, and hastily make your way to the kitchen. Nothing. You've obviously got this stealth thing down. She probably went to her room to lie down anyway, god knows she looked exhausted. Throwing caution to the wind you calmly make your way across the living room. Halfway there you pause to pet Mutie who is sprawled out on his back in the middle of the room.

"She's right you know." you can't help but jump. Your sudden movement startles the cat and he darts under the couch.

"Omfg, Kanaya. You scared the ever-loving shit out of me!" you gasp.

"Boo." She utters as she smirks ever so slightly. You scowl at her and keep making your way to the door. While you normally enjoy Kanaya's company, right now she is not here as your friend, but as Rose's girlfriend, which means that she will inevitably meddle in Rose's favor.

"I'm going to do this whether you like it or not." You say with your hand on the door handle. As you try to yank the door open you find that it will not budge. A single pale gray arm is splayed against it. Damn her, and her inhuman strength.

"I can't help but feel that what you plan on doing is unfathomably foolish." she states.

"Yeah?" you mutter as you once again try your luck with the door. It won't budge.

"Yes." she answers without breaking stride. "Furthermore it's completely unnecessary! You could just-"

"Kanaya." Rose interrupts her girlfriend with a practiced ease that allows her to keep her voice down as she does so. She's sitting on the couch again with a cup of coffee in one hand and a book in the other. Where did she come from? "Let her go." She says while beckoning her over. Kanaya hesitates, you try the door again but it is still firmly held in place. "Trust me; we do not want to have to go down any of the paths that involve either one of us meddling with this anymore than we already have." Kanaya looks to her, then back at you. She walks away towards the couch and you can finally open the door. You glance back to them both as you step outside, wave grudgingly and then close the door.


End file.
